GraceUponUs

Queso. Je suis en amour avec lui. J'aimerais que ce soit réciproque. And it's really hard for him to not understand that. Because it's just there and I can't get rid of it. And there's so many things I want. But I can't keep myself from wanting him. Anyway. My Sexy Sausage Monkeys. I have nothing to do on this lovely Saturday. So I think I'm going to mosey on down to my bedroom and watch NCIS until I pass out. BingBangBoom. That's how babies are made.

Seeing my friends hurt Being selfish Getting the bad things I deserve Falling for the wrong guy Falling for the wrong age Falling Crying over a guy Crying in general Being stuck in a hospital because you're dumb as fuck Hospital food Doctors Psych evaluations Counselors Someone telling me what my feelings are My mom yelling at me for trying again Knowing that I didn't try because of him but knowing people with think otherwise Knowing I fail Being kind of grateful that I failed but knowing I'll try again Not replying to texts but not being in the mood Making my brother tell my friends Drinking stuff to make me throw up N

So here's what happens. I'm hurt here. Right? And I'm just wanting to go to sleep but I'm waiting on people and... I don't know. Hoping? Does it exist? Oh well anyway. Chris says "Wanna hang out on Friday?" Now I'm not talking Christofer Drew. But Chris Novelli. He's going to be in Texas for a while. He already asked me to pass out stuff for him at a YouTube gathering and I said yes. Then he texts me this and you know what I do? I say no. It hurts that bad. I don't even want to think about enjoying myself. I want to sit here in my own self pity and cry until I can't anymore. Then I'm going to go outside and run until I vomit. And then I'm